Fubar Lunch

I now work, as part of a gap year, at the school that i have attended for around a decade of my life. Along this conduit of education, laden with hard work and out-dated traditions, there has been some decisions made by the governing body of the school that have created a confection of well spoken unrest. At GCSE, they introduced an ISA, a practical element to the sciences exams. At A-level, they made it the rule of thumb to do 4 A-levels and to move back the date of AS examinations to January of the second year of sixth form. Perhaps unsurprisingly, both these changes happened to our year as the experiment; we were the Guinea pig year. None of these announcements, however, conjured as much bemusement and misfiring of my senses as the latest debacle.

The school announced that for one day both staff and pupils alike, will have a limited lunch, a rationed meal, a bread roll and a cup of soup. For this, we are expected to crumble to our knees and not protest when we are stung to the tune of £3 for the remarkably underwhelming experience. Behind the lunacy, there is a cause, it is essentially a fund raiser for Pakistan. This is not the problem; i am not a miserly misogynist. The problem is that we can raise the same amount of money in a fashion that is not going to cause suffering, be it minor. Mufti days, wear a hat days, eat a normal lunch but just wear something slightly different days..

The reasoning behind it is that this 'frugal lunch' day, will allow us blessed, fortunate and privileged, to partially experience one of the major problems in Pakistan in order to gain greater insight into what they are going through and provoke enhanced empathy towards them. Perhaps if this scheme was adopted for a week, this might work. A day, however, will simply create protests, unrest, complaints and under-nourishment. When people are safe in the knowledge that the norm is being reinstated the next day, it is an excuse for a pessimistic outlook, unity in misery. The reason the week long rationing wouldn't ever be considered, is that the governing body realise what a truly ridiculous notion this is.

From a utilitarian perspective, the population of Pakistan is suffering already, let's not make more people suffer, even for a day. One might suggest that it could create more empathy and in turn result in higher levels of 'good'. It will not, for in 24 hours after the meagre offerings, the children will once more play with their frubes, dance amongst their crisps and skip fancifully amidst their confectionery of varying assortment.

If i were to raise money for Help the Heros, for the brave men who fought for their country and have been maimed in return, i would run a race, climb a mast, wear home clothes. What i wouldn't do, is blow my legs off so as to place my self in their position. If i were raising money for the poor individuals that live amongst an African shanty town, in squalor and poverty, i would host a sponsored rugby match, i would do a sponsored silence, i would provide a cake sale service. What i wouldn't do, is shit in my drinking water and inject cholera directly into my bowels. This idea of putting yourself in their boots doesn't work, it is just an excuse for not just failing to avoid wholly avoidable plight, but manifesting it in the first place.

The idea will prove itself to be a massively unsuccessful campaign and if the school has any sense left unabandoned, future charity ideas at the school will come under KGB-esque scrutiny, so as to not entertain a repeat of this mammoth disaster.