50 years ago the most valued people in society were an individuals family and the Queen. Now, however, our culture seems to have bumped the value of so called 'celebrity personalities' to staggeringly unaffordable heights. They get praised and followed like demi-Gods and their followers, these vultures of all things famous continue like the undead snuffing out fresh brain. To couple nicely with this hierarchy of madness, what constitutes a 'celebrity' has also wandered from it's traditional definition of someone who has talent, talent enough to be payed for. It wasn't so long ago that i found myself watching a Kerry Katona Iceland advert and realised the pointlessness of it all. What does she even do? Apparently she used to be a singer...perhaps 'used to be' gives insight to the quality of said 'singing'. Yet since her musical career has ground to a halt, she still clings on desperately to the highly sought after 'celeb' status, unbelievably. On my list of 'top 100 good for nothing people who need to be attacked with a wrench' she rates fairly highly, just below Vanessa Feltz (she's is marginally worse for she genuinely believes she has worth to society, she couldn't have less), and just above that free-loading, band-wagoning rip-off merchant Timberland (does he write anything of his own or just force is fat fingers into everyone else's pies?). Not only can Kerry not sing, she is the first women in the history of television to be out-acted by 12 sausage rolls.
Liam Gallagher: now there's a twat. He really is a bastard among men. Usually, when i talk of celebrities, of how i have a burning desire to lash at them without constraint, i am referring to their persona, their tv presence; if i bumped into one in the street, the speed at which I'd become a jelly-legged, star-struck hypocrite would be breath-taking . Gallagher, on the other hand, i genuinely hate. I do hope i never have to bump into his sunken, gormless face topped with his medieval stable boy hair-cut on the street, for my actions would surely see several fixed life sentences.
Is my hate that irrational? No. He really is a fucking idiot of inconceivable proportions. An installment of Would i lie to you? Opened my eyes further to his complete worthlessness. He once asked at the front desk of, presumably a five star hotel, if he could, through room service, order a trampoline to his room. Now if i were that clerk, i would feel compelled to visit Gallaghers room, and set fire to his face, and probably his brother, whilst shouting 'of course you may not have a trampoline, of course you may not!' . The soul crushing truth is likely to be that the hotel actually tried to locate and deliver a trampoline to his room. I shudder at the thought of it.
So what is he famous for? Oasis of course. Their legacy is undeniably far reaching and in the last two decades, their success unrivalled . But why? I don't want to know the reasons for the creation of the universe, nor the answer to the riddle of the space-time continuum. Instead why everyone bows downs and worships Oasis like deities. Gallaghers monotonous, droning voice serves only to spiral me into both depression and anger whilst the unrelenting chord progressions grind on my conscience as if i had murdered a small child. The worst of their crimes is not this however, instead it is the constant desire of Gallaghers to become the modern Beatles. I doubt he even likes the beatles! Judging by his music he certainly doesn't. Maybe Gallagher bears more intelligence that I'm allowing credit for, perhaps Oasis is a satire, a parody, homage to the Beatles through Oasis' juxtaposed, 'how not to be' music. I think not. Instead i reckon Gallagher wants to be like the Beatles in the sense of their domination of the music world, in the sense of being an unstoppable force rather than being musically adept. This comparison was inevitable also, the critics has no choice. When Gallagher opted to dress like he was from the era of the flower-children, where else were they to head? Perhaps it is just not for me, there is clearly something 'right' about the 'Oasis' enterprise for their fan base is unscaleably sized. Oh well, just another one of my frustrations left bleeding in the gutter.
This said, Oasis had to hire ex- SAS, lions of men to act as bodyguards after repeated attacks and threats to members of the band. Maybe that clerk didn't take to kindly to the trampoline request after all.
Maybe then, it is the mimicking of celebrity's bastard like behaviour that is the cause of the 'younger' generation's decline in manners and increase in foul-mouthed, alcohol induced actions. Maybe i gave 'the Boohbahs' a overestimated role in this. I certainly believe that celebrities play a much larger role than they did in influencing teenagers, everyday they are rammed down our throats from every angle, but this is not a profound view. It's not so much that their temperament has altered, Elvis was a party hard, nympho just as Marilyn Monroe was, and Zeppelin were doing more drugs than that gonk Pete Doherty could possibly dream of doing. It's just that they get more coverage, in radio, tv, papers, and because they live the life they want to, soaked in money and martini, it is only natural that they become role models for the young and dreaming.
...Man i hate Liam Gallagher...
Liam Gallagher: now there's a twat. He really is a bastard among men. Usually, when i talk of celebrities, of how i have a burning desire to lash at them without constraint, i am referring to their persona, their tv presence; if i bumped into one in the street, the speed at which I'd become a jelly-legged, star-struck hypocrite would be breath-taking . Gallagher, on the other hand, i genuinely hate. I do hope i never have to bump into his sunken, gormless face topped with his medieval stable boy hair-cut on the street, for my actions would surely see several fixed life sentences.
Is my hate that irrational? No. He really is a fucking idiot of inconceivable proportions. An installment of Would i lie to you? Opened my eyes further to his complete worthlessness. He once asked at the front desk of, presumably a five star hotel, if he could, through room service, order a trampoline to his room. Now if i were that clerk, i would feel compelled to visit Gallaghers room, and set fire to his face, and probably his brother, whilst shouting 'of course you may not have a trampoline, of course you may not!' . The soul crushing truth is likely to be that the hotel actually tried to locate and deliver a trampoline to his room. I shudder at the thought of it.
So what is he famous for? Oasis of course. Their legacy is undeniably far reaching and in the last two decades, their success unrivalled . But why? I don't want to know the reasons for the creation of the universe, nor the answer to the riddle of the space-time continuum. Instead why everyone bows downs and worships Oasis like deities. Gallaghers monotonous, droning voice serves only to spiral me into both depression and anger whilst the unrelenting chord progressions grind on my conscience as if i had murdered a small child. The worst of their crimes is not this however, instead it is the constant desire of Gallaghers to become the modern Beatles. I doubt he even likes the beatles! Judging by his music he certainly doesn't. Maybe Gallagher bears more intelligence that I'm allowing credit for, perhaps Oasis is a satire, a parody, homage to the Beatles through Oasis' juxtaposed, 'how not to be' music. I think not. Instead i reckon Gallagher wants to be like the Beatles in the sense of their domination of the music world, in the sense of being an unstoppable force rather than being musically adept. This comparison was inevitable also, the critics has no choice. When Gallagher opted to dress like he was from the era of the flower-children, where else were they to head? Perhaps it is just not for me, there is clearly something 'right' about the 'Oasis' enterprise for their fan base is unscaleably sized. Oh well, just another one of my frustrations left bleeding in the gutter.
This said, Oasis had to hire ex- SAS, lions of men to act as bodyguards after repeated attacks and threats to members of the band. Maybe that clerk didn't take to kindly to the trampoline request after all.
Maybe then, it is the mimicking of celebrity's bastard like behaviour that is the cause of the 'younger' generation's decline in manners and increase in foul-mouthed, alcohol induced actions. Maybe i gave 'the Boohbahs' a overestimated role in this. I certainly believe that celebrities play a much larger role than they did in influencing teenagers, everyday they are rammed down our throats from every angle, but this is not a profound view. It's not so much that their temperament has altered, Elvis was a party hard, nympho just as Marilyn Monroe was, and Zeppelin were doing more drugs than that gonk Pete Doherty could possibly dream of doing. It's just that they get more coverage, in radio, tv, papers, and because they live the life they want to, soaked in money and martini, it is only natural that they become role models for the young and dreaming.
...Man i hate Liam Gallagher...
Rob, I don't think I've ever read a blog and encountered such a burning hate for the author like this before. The fact that you've begun with "50 years ago the most valued people in society were an individuals family and the Queen" just proves how much of a fucking idiot you are. The Queen literally waves at people for her living and you think she's worthwhile?! Lovely lass i'm sure but unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteOasis, while arguably not as musically creative as others, speak for a generation and have huge anthems that have represented vast amounts of people. Just because you can't relate to their lyrics or lifestyle does not make them "twats". To have such talent and success from nothing is something to be admired. Your beloved Queen and families have it all made from the word go remember.
How someone of under 20 can have this sort of view on life is fucking ridiculous. Fair play celebrities shouldn't be treated like Gods but because all of their stories are so well known it's good for some of them to be admired for what's happened in their lives. (not all obviously).
Blog above about the world cup is fucking ridiculous too. "fake patriotism"?! How would you define patriotism then?! Backing a group of people who are competing on a world stage for England will do it for me. Especially since everyone seems to be against every form of armed forces nowadays.
Anyway stop writing blogs and enjoy life and simple things. If you can't enjoy easy, simple things how can complex issues excite you ever?
x
I do apologise for allowing your message to go un-acknowledged for so long, i was busy conquering my A-level examinations and then i went on a series of holidays, now allow me to retort. You must read more into the title of the blog sir; "The link between jape and man". It is an attempt to align both a jokey, frivoulous and whimsical way of thinking and writting, with perhaps more serious matters than the usual minutiae we are confronted with. Thus, sir, you must take each and every word with a handful of salt. My style of writting is both grandiose and perhaps sees senserity subjugated for more fanciful themes.
ReplyDelete""50 years ago the most valued people in society were an individuals family and the Queen" just proves how much of a fucking idiot you are" I have referenced this section of your interesting and undeveloped appraisal as it exhibits 'Non-Sequitur' reasoning...I can only assume that someone with such an undeveloped mind did not, infact, do latin; so allow me to elucidate further. It is a logical fallacy and literally means "doesn't follow". I said, as you correctly referenced, "50 years ago the most valued people in society were an individuals family and the Queen", this is a statement of fact or near fact. For you then to conclude that i am a 'fucking idiot', doesn't make sense...that is unless you bear some irrational hatred to facts and the people that utilise them, or you disagree with the fact. I feel sorry for you sense of reasoning because it seems to be clouded by your rudimentary brain capacity, and remains unable to escape your incessant foolishness.
I must also argue that whilst the Queen may not be the most active character in exercising perfect morality, her worth over Liam Gallahger is vastly increased when we consider how many accounts of alcohol-fuelled violence she has commited, how many people she has offended and how much drug abuse she has commited, and then compare this to you friend Liam's record.
Against all the odds, you did manage to decrease the credibility of your rather amorphous speech yet further. Whom, may i enquire, are you referring to by the 'families' who have it 'all from the word go'? Even a member of a disjointed and dysfunctional family, drinkers and brawlers, from the backstreets of the arsehole of nowhere, may value their family over the paradox of the deified celebrity, infact, they almost certainly will out of jealousy, a feeling of injustice and to be congruent with the common narrative of social norms in that era.
Whilst perhaps i do not need to depict you as any more of a fool than you already seem, i shall. By 'fake patriotism' i meant patriotism that begins wholeheartedly, but turns sour in a matter of on-field mistakes, miss kicks or substitutions. This is not patriotism conforming to the original concept, but as you put, it'll do it for you...you inadequate chimp.
I will continue to write blogs, not just because i enjoy it, but now, because i feel there is a supplementary experience for me, arising from the fact that you don't like it; i will consider it a heroic stand in the face of imprudence, logical transgressions and ignorance.
Best wishes,
Rob