In its most basic form, life does not have the scope to fully satisfy the modern human. None of us would be happy to roam around with our spears and loin cloths, hunting down our Big Mac, yet we could survive; we did survive. At each advance in technological resources, we have gone through a conduit of novelty, acclimatization and dependence. This cycle meant every push, over the trench of modernisation, that would play a major role in the life of mankind, would be another irreversible notch forwards, a notch that we would soon be reliant upon. Though i am not eluding that we physically could not survive if plunged back into the dark ages, i am suggesting that none of us, that have experienced the obscenely hedonistic life of post-millennium, could be happy, not until we re-adjusted, and i could not see many of us, if any, making this transmogrification. I recently suffered the unimaginable plight of a power cut. Firstly, in this day and age, i shouldn't have to go through the ordeal, but apparently us country dwellers don't deserve the commodity of an efficient electricity rescue service.
The point is, that i nearly died that day, everything that my life relied upon was taken, just like that, light, tv, Internet, my phone went down and i couldn't charge it, i couldn't cook a meal, i couldn't even have a warm shower. My life had careened into the floor and it was then that i realised how much i rely on these commodities. I could go on about how pathetic it is that we rely on such appliances, and how we should submit to nature, but i won't, because frankly it's too late and it's our natural progression; the evolution of technology. I clench my jaw through existence as it is, let alone when stripped bare.
Life, according to my latest theory, is very simplistic; the ability to live on this diverse planet. What you see is what you get, it's a ronseal job. And as I've already said, we are not happy with this, the human mind requires stimulation to levels above that of any other life form. We need distractions to prevent us spiralling into hellish cognitive thoughts, i like to refer to them as 'rose tints'. Everything is a rose tint. Everything you buy, everything you desire, anything more complex than water, rudimentary food, and oxygen is a rose tint. Even flavoured water...it's there to make life happier, it serves the purpose of releasing us from the reality of how mundane life is, of making sure we are not ragged, loathsome and defeated animals by the time we are twelve. Life, for all of us, is shit. The depressed are the enlightened and the religious the insane. The media spoon to us fairy tales of other peoples lives, injected full of hyperboley, to show us how unbearable their lives are, thereby distracting us from our own life sentence. It further holds us in a cycle of fear and consumption; 'buy our cologne or women will hate you, you smelly, overweight fuck!', 'buy this car...that is unless you personally want to take down the environment...you want to murder more penguins do you? DO YOU?'. We buy rose tints because it keeps us distracted and because the media says we should.
Rose tints also materialise themselves as pass times, clearly pass times occupy the mind much more than just buying things as it normally involves buying things but also using them, often regularly. The more time that can be spent not thinking about your worthlessness in comparison to the the sheer complexity of the universe, that your existence is meaningless to the laws of nature and that life is actually one dimensional, the better off you are, so pass times prove themselves to be very popular. Humans have always turned to pass times, because we have always had the capacity to get bored, it's part of the factor that separates us from other animals, and being bored leads quickly to the realisation of how laboriously dull life is when considered without the glitter and packaging we coerce upon it. As part of our visceral disposition to grow tired of things, we grow desensitised to even our most favourite things, any one man will often have several pass times to juggle in order to weaken our boredom receptors.
What leaves me sat, cross-legged with utter bewilderment showering down upon me, is those pass times, so called 'rose tints', that couldn't possibly have the ability to free our lives from the shackles of Life because they are so insipid, irksome and platitudinous, they surely stop time dead and break the fabric of creation itself. One example of such a pass time presents itself to me above all the others. Vegetable shows...Showing vegetables...Putting vegetables in a show...a show, that is comprised mainly of vegetables...how despicable.
See the fatal error that has been made here, is that vegetable Fayres mix what is often a constituent of pass times; competition, with a basic element of life, the lowest form of nutrition, the earliest cultivated produce; vegetables. The word vegetable is as plain as they taste. I have scrutinized from the tip of the root to the top of the legume, and there is nothing to get excited about, we eat vegetables not because their taste is so irresistible, but because they are good for us, they are a necessary evil. The fayre revolves around being pedantic to the extent that it would make it onto the autistic spectrum, measuring size, straightness, regularity, presentation, weight, roundness, colour and texture of plant growths. Examining waves of the same looking vegetables in such fashions cannot be beneficial to the maintenance of a healthy and sane mind. Nor can the actual growing process, it happens over such a long time that even if the result was the highest reward and the planting stirred up days of excitement, it leaves months unaccounted for. This activity is one of an elite few, that are more dreadful than life itself.
The people who identify with this 'pass time' must, MUST do something else with themselves other than having an affair with their legumes. They could not survive on this alone since it would leave a vacuum in their heads, desolate and self-sustaining. My only salvation in this issue is to assume that whilst they are not planting, picking or showing their vegetables, they are sky-diving, bungee jumping and injecting adrenaline straight into their eyeballs. In fact, i quite fancy this prospect.
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